As the sun rose over the desert lands of Iraq, the dawn of realization had yet to crest on the horizon for a young Marine, who would soon find himself in a different kind of war — a battle against the shadows that follow combat, and a quest for a faith lost and found again.
Born into the modest beauty of Silver City, New Mexico, I was raised with a compass of strong values and the unwavering support of a loving family. The youngest of four and the only son, I was no stranger to the expectations that come with being the torchbearer of a legacy. It was a legacy I chose to carry into the ranks of the U.S. Marine Corps, where I served as an M1A1 Tank Mechanic/Technician and rose to the rank of Sergeant.
The deserts of Iraq were where I lost my innocence — where the cacophony of war became the soundtrack to my life. Returning home, I hoped to leave the echoes of battle behind, but they clung to me, a persistent shadow that darkened my steps. Diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and night terrors, I found myself spiraling into a void filled with addiction and despair. I was fighting a war within, facing an enemy that knew my every weakness.
The downward spiral was swift. My nights became a blur of bars and fleeting escapes on the back of a motorcycle, each morning bringing a deeper sense of hopelessness. Cocaine became both my shield and my shack, dragging me further from the hero I once was. My service medals, once worn with pride, became stark reminders of the man I could no longer recognize in the mirror.
But even in the darkest of nights, there is a dawn waiting to break. For me, it came in the quiet of a jail cell, with the news of my father’s passing. It was the wake-up call I needed. The Marine in me wasn’t done fighting. Leaning on the scriptures that had been etched in my heart, I found a lifeline in faith.
With the support of family and the unbreakable bonds with fellow Marines, I began the journey back to myself. It was a pilgrimage of healing, of rediscovering the faith and fortitude that had been buried under the rubble of war and personal demons. This journey wasn’t walked alone — it was a path shared by the many who’ve worn the uniform and those who stand steadfast beside us.
This transformation led me back to the pulpit as an Assemblies of God Minister, where I found my voice in sharing my story — a story of fall and redemption, of battles and beliefs. And now, it has brought me here, to you, through my podcast “Renegadez: Men of Faith & Fortitude,” where we explore the intersection of masculinity and spirituality.
The road has been long, and the battle is ongoing. Yet, each step forward is a victory in itself. I share my story not as a unique tale, but as a mirror to the countless untold stories of veterans who wrestle with their shadows daily.
I invite you to listen to my journey in the latest episode of “Renegadez,” titled “Beyond the War.” It is more than my story; it’s an open call to those who find themselves in the throes of their own battles, looking for a beacon to guide them home.
To my brothers and sisters in arms, to the warriors still searching for their way back: you are not alone. Your story matters, your fight is our fight, and your faith — no matter how faint it may seem — is a light that can guide you through the darkness.
Join me, as we seek to live lives worthy of our stories, lives full of faith and fortitude.
Until next time, keep believing, keep striving, and keep living a life full of faith and fortitude.
God Bless.
https://youtu.be/W740AvacF2A?si=OgcWZd1p7ixwke0r
